Is it your latest hyperfixation or is it just... avoidance
This week, Judgement wants us to get real.
This week’s seed 🌱: Stop punishing yourself for being human
The compost 🪱: Judgement
I was having a conversation with a client recently and we were discussing body dysmorphia (TW body dysmorphia!)—and how we’ve both experienced different degrees of it.
One shared experience we had was having our photo taken, and in the moment, looking at the images and not liking what we saw. Then, months or years later, looking back at those same photos and thinking, “I looked so good! Why couldn’t I see it then?”
This conversation got me thinking about this idea that, a lot of the time, we’re not really seeing ourselves in all of our glory.
Instead of looking in the mirror and seeing our bodies as beautifully complex systems that work SO fucking hard to keep us alive, we see them through this skewed lens given to us by social conditioning. Instead of seeing ourselves as we are, we see ourselves compared to how we wish to be or how we “should” be.
But here’s the thing about wishing for a different looking body. I’ve noticed a pattern, in my work and with my friends, that, sometimes, negative body image isn’t really about our bodies—it’s about the other stuff, the deeper shit. Like feeling inherently unlovable, like everyone is going to eventually abandon you, like you’re terrified to lose the people you love. You know, the stuff that feels impossible to fix.
^^That takes a lot of hard work and honesty to address, so instead we take it out on our bodies. We restrict our diets, work out to change the shape of our bodies, etc. because it just feels easier than facing our existential dread, or, you know, burning down the patriarchal, white supremacist, fatphobic systems that fed us the body BS in the first place.
This is what this week’s card, Judgement, is here to help us with: cutting through the lies from ourselves, from society, and giving us the courage to awaken to our deepest truths.
This week, I want you to notice when you get hyperfixated on something. It could be nitpicking your “flaws” in the mirror, but it could also be researching the *best* gear for your camping trip, pouring over fantasy smut novels, or obsessively watching running influencers on IG («««that one’s me hehe)
When you bring your awareness to this hyperfixation, I want you to ask yourself if this is your way of avoiding your deeper shit. Maybe it’s not, in which case, hyperfixate away! But if it is, it’s time to turn your attention to those parts of you that need your attention, but more importantly, your love.
Judgement wants us to cut the distractions so that we may see ourselves in all of our glory, perceived flaws, questionable decisions, all of it. Centering into your own humanity may not immediately fix all your problems, but it will certainly recalibrate your approach and how you’re treating yourself as you figure it out.
So go forth and fly that freak flag proudly. Unwrap the parts of yourself shame has hidden away. Get naked in front of a mirror and say “holy shit, my body is incredible!!!!” Dare to embrace your fears of unlovability, of loneliness, of whatever plagues you, and remind yourself that you are here on this earth to live a human life that includes an entire spectrum of feelings and experiences. How sad; how wonderful.
The water 💧: A digital altar for the week ahead
The glass 🪞: Outer wisdom
Read: This article about how we all care way too much about what other people think about us—when no one else is actually paying that much attention.
Watch: Ultimate self-love queen Lizzo’s Good As Hell music video. Having a bad body image day? This will pick your spirits right up.
Listen: Answer: Love Myself by BTS. Loving yourself just as you are is a huge F U to the oppressive systems that fucked us up in the first place!!!!
The sunshine ☀️: Some levity
Thanks for reading 🪴 See you here next Sunday!
P.S. If you’re interested in getting a reading from me, you can book a session here. As a subscriber, you get 20% off using the code SUBSTACK. Thank you for your support!